Perspective

Our air conditioning stopped working Tues. night. I was belly aching and complaining feeling miserable.


Then I started talking to someone. He asked me the current temperature inside my house. I told him 95 degrees. He told me how last week he was outside working in 103 degree heat. He told me that everyday he works, all day with the sun beating down on him, and he uses a fire torch. He told me that he has to wear leather so he won’t get sun burnt. I had no idea.

Today the AC repairman finally came to fix the problem. I told him it’s too hot! I don’t feel like doing anything. He said he doesn’t have that choice cause he works outside in it all the time.

How long did I suffer? Two days? Some of that time spent in an air conditioned car and buildings running errands. Last night we went out to eat because it was too hot to cook.

So now I sit in my air conditioned home, fully knowing how spoiled I really am.

Nothing like a little perspective from a 19 yr old man, I’ve known since he was a baby.

Feathers in my yard

Everyday I see and hear all kinds of birds. We had a hoot owl that moved from our front tree to backyard. Which makes me happy cause don’t they eat mice? We have a bird nest in our rain gutter.
On our first week here. J's mom is looking out the kitchen window. She whispers, “I’m watching the kids they lost their pet animal, they’re trying to catch it.”

I want to know what it is. Is it a kitten? puppy? rabbit? turtle? lizard? snake? What if it’s a mouse? Where are those kids? I need to find out about that animal!I go outside. I kneel down on the sidewalk. The girl and her brother are hovering around my bush. I ask what is it? They tell me a bird. I look. It’s a wild bird. I ask, “Is it yours?” They tell me no. I tell them to be careful. I don’t want them to get bit, rabies, or a virus.

     They look at me like crazy lady, with your messed up clothes. I was moving. I was not looking cute.     I introduced myself. I tell them good luck. Less than 5 min later, they walk away. Which is fine with me cause I don’t want some parents suing me cause their kid got bit in my yard by some wild bird.

     Is it the rain, why we have so many birds? J tells me it’s cause we have a lot of bugs. Yep we definitely have those in Texas, and lizards too.
   "Here lizard, lizard." J says when he sees them in the house, and he tries to catch them. They are small and fast, but they don't scare me!

A few weeks ago saw this dead bird on my outside table. It made me sad. So it’s not all lollipops and rainbows, but without death would there be no value in life?

The other day I asked J, "What kind of bird is that?" "The black one?" "yes." "A crow. I think it scared away the ugly pigeons and the owl. I don't hear the owl when the crows are around."
"Who cares about the pigeons?"  "Not me."
I wonder what crows symbolize?

Today though, I was taking out the recycling and saw feathers on the ground. How special is that?

Ridglea FW Concert

We went to an all day concert. It was no Warped tour, that's for sure.

http://www.myspace.com/whenthelightturnsred

http://www.myspace.com/abandonkansas

http://www.myspace.com/5yearsandcounting

http://www.myspace.com/deathridesapalehorsetx

There was a teenager who sang alone just him and his guitar. What courage to write and share his own music with no band. The last song he used his keyboard. He was disheartened because they changed his time slot, and his family couldn't be there.

One of the ladies said, "We'll be your family." Then the kid pointed to each person and said, "Ok you can be my Aunt Sherry, you girls can be my cousins, some more cousins, my uncle..." Last of all he pointed to John and he said, "And you look like my stepdad. I HATE YOU!!!" It was hilarious. I was the only person he didn't point to. So does that mean I got to be his mom? (AGHH! I'll pass).

We got exposed to some new music, which was the whole point. This one kid leaped off the stage doing the splits. This other kid was an amazing guitar player. I was sitting in the front row watching those fingers fly with speed and skill. There was a Stryper banner with their autographs and some biblical murals on the walls. Um, we didn't know that's what it was going to be. And on a Sunday no less.

..."listen. Can you hear it? The music. I can hear it everywhere. In the wind.. In the air... In the light. It's all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do... is LISTEN..." from the movie August Rush

..."No, I don't want to do that. I want to stay passionate. I want to scream at rock concerts, and get angry at the news, and I want to wear mini skirts." "You're going to look ridiculous."

"Yeah, well, when enough people are ridiculous, it starts to look normal."

from the movie I Could Never Be Your Woman by Amy Heckerling

My Closet

“Some people were born to push the envelope of fashion and some to lick it.” Duff, Mtv VJ

In Sex In the City the movie. She tells Mr. Big something like
“I don’t want a ring. Just build me a closet for my clothes.” Yes!
Enjoy having a walk in closet where I can see all my shoes, tall boots, hats, and my clothing. Still need to work on the belt situation.

Now I just need somewhere to wear them. Oh, what am I gonna do with all my coats and scarves without Winter?

“Style is a simple way of saying complicated things.” Jean Cocteau

Finally untangled my necklaces and hung them. They were such a mess! (Please don’t think we are keeping our bedroom wall this color). We’re stuck with what John call ‘The Bat Cave’ until we decide.

“What care I how chic it be, if it not be the best for me?”
B. Altman & Co. ad







“One should either be a work of art or wear a work of art.” Oscar Wilde

Shopping

Yesterday I went to the mall. I got a hair cut. I spent way too much money, but I didn’t know how much it was going to cost until the damage was done. Oh, I know someone who would love this mall.

They have Dillards, Nordstrom, and Sephora.

New perfume that smells like chocolate. I wish they could make one that smells like chocolate and strawberries. I’d probably just get bored of it, like usual.

I tried Godiva chocolate for the first time. I know someone else who likes white chocolate.

In Texas it seems like everything costs more, and people are as chatty as I am. Someone told me about websites to check out for job search info. Two other girls showed me their cool nail polish. Somebody else told me where to get a tatoo from a guy named Elvis, (yes that’s his real name). Don't go to the guy who does the tatoos for the band Pantera (ok).

Two guys told me about four new places to see concerts, and I’m not the only one hoping Zeppelin will do a state tour. Apparently Death Cab concert was a strict venue with lots of rules. I’m not the only one who doesn’t like shows there. Two people yesterday mentioned the band Godsmack. What is it with that band in this town? That makes three references.

I was told some very sad news. We don't experience Autumn here. The leaves fall off and die.That’s my favorite season! Oh, the agony! No real spring, here either. The good news is that apparently we don’t have winter. So does that mean all we have is Summer?

John planted a palm tree, yesterday. It looks wimpy, but it should grow. We have plenty of sun. I just wish we had an ocean and beach to go with it.

It felt weird being at the bank on a Utah holiday. Hope you enjoyed yours.

The Guitar Guys

Whoever said when the student is ready the teacher will appear has not been looking for a guitar teacher in Texas. Spent all Saturday driving around looking for music shops of addresses to find nothing. Many Craig’s list emails and phone calls later. It took me 5 days to find a teacher. I start Monday. The guy has big shoes to fill. He knows how to rock, and he makes me laugh which gives him many bonus points.

What I learned from The Guitar Guys was more than just how to read music, chords, and being introduced to new bands. I learned about being kind, open-hearted, brave, and taking risks.

There are things that look simple, but take hard work and dedication. There are also things that appear difficult, but they are really easy once you try them. It’s nice to laugh at yourself, and find the lighter side of life. What I learned most of all is that my sudden, harsh judgments are overly critical and mostly wrong.

I discovered that most people won’t even try to listen. They’ll shut their ears. They won’t acknowledge it’s existence. There are some people who won’t feel what they’re hearing. It won’t touch their soul, or they just don’t get it.

There were times, when I wasn’t ready, or I didn’t understand everything you tried to say. Many times I misunderstood, and sometimes I only heard pieces. Just letting you know that I was listening the whole time. Well I was trying to listen, anyway, so thanks. I know I still have a lot of living to do.

Polishing the Stars

Somebody Has To
By Shel Silverstein
Somebody has to go polish the stars,
They’re looking a little bit dull.
Somebody has to go polish the stars,
For the eagles and starlings and gulls
Have all been complaining they’re tarnished and worn,
They say they want new ones we cannot afford.
So please get your rags
And your polishing jars,
Somebody has to go polish the stars.

This is part of the cleaning crew at the high school I worked at last year. I know at least one of the guys is missing if not more, and I’m sorry about that. “Thank you for coming in early and shoveling the sidewalks when they were covered in snow. Thanks for cleaning up all our garbage, and no one ever notices.”
He says, “You Did.”

It was the last day of school. He knew I was moving. He asked me, “Aren’t you sad?”
At the moment I wasn’t. I said, “No, I’m taking it all in. I’m excited. And I thought about it. I said, “Actually it’s bittersweet, yep.” I told him you’re a lot better than the creepy guy who kept hitting on me at another school I worked at, in the past.
He sort of squeezed my hand, looked into my eyes, smiled, and rushed off, “Well if you weren’t so cute, you can’t blame him.”

Last night I was thinking that my grandpa polished the stars, and so does my cousin. To all star polishers everywhere, I am grateful.

Your Heart Has Space

photos are by oldest to newest

Ever since 9th grade, I could never decide or choose one best friend. It's why I didn't do the whole wedding line thing. I didn't want to pick one to be maid of honor or brides maids bull etc. I have several best friends. Maybe one is my best friend for fashion or art or politics or music or work or my best friend to laugh with or be silly with or cry with or share my dreams or soul or whatever it is we decide. It could be one or some, constant, or varying degrees of intensity throughout different moments. Why can’t we all be best friends? That’s what I want to know.

All my family, you know who you are this is for you too.

Your heart has space and pieces for everyone you want to let in. Not just a certain amount of people that give back to you. Yes it takes a lot to give so much away, but I’m not gonna stop. Think of all the people that pass in and out of your life, and you never see them or know what happened to them. All you have to do is hear a song or see a color or smell some perfume, and it really does make you smile or laugh.

Making Your Mark

Someone asked me “why do they think it’s ok to destroy and damage things? like school buses and now little kids can’t ride in them!”
and I say
Because I think it shows how young they are. They aren’t thinking of that. They are thinking of doing something sort of dangerous or expressing themselves creatively or trying to make their mark. They just need to learn or figure out find out to make their mark in a different way.

“If humans could only listen to each other-listen without prejudice or intolerance-listen with open minds and compassionate hearts- the connections could be something so splendid, so powerful, so perfect-

“It begins with one,” the woman murmured. And from that one, others. Now you begin to understand…” -from Spellbinder by Melanie Rawn

“Sometimes we forget that children have just arrived on the earth. They are a little like aliens coming into being as bundles of energy and pure potential. Here on some exploratory mission, and they are just trying to learn what It means to be human.” from the movie Martian Child

Happy Birthday dear friend of mine

I won't embarrass you by posting your photo, but I will post this, just a little something I made for you. Here's to laughter, falling in love with life, and sharing it. The bad the stuff, the good stuff, and all the hope. We've been friends for 10-11 years (except the time when we weren't), let's go for at least 10 more. Love ya

Cheapo music store

We saw Cheapo Music Store in Austin,
and of course we had to stop. 

I wished for it to be like Amoeba in San Francisco, but nope. It was much smaller
 & no posters, but they did have some old vinyls.

"Lionel asks you don't reach over counter!!
Take all listened CD back to register."

"Please NO singing."

Anyone remember We Are the World?
 Captain Kangaroo? Strawberry Shortcake?

I really wanted this Raggedy Ann and Andy,
but it was silly. So I didn't get it.

Saw interesting artwork, and funny t shirts.

Records must be trendy now cause they had the new Weezer (red album) in vinyl.

We did pick up The Urgencies,
 (they had a huge local selection). 

Thought I owned all The Replacements albums,
but found one I didn't. It was called The Replacements:Stink! (which I had to get too).

hostel or hostile?

We were parking the car to go to the art museum, in Austin. I heard and saw a blind man calling, "Can someone tell me where I am? What street I'm on?" I asked John to call out the address, and I watch as he walks across the street. Then I see him take the man's cane and walk with him to our car. What the...? John opens my door and tells me we are going to give this man a quick ride. We're what? We don't know him. I get into the backseat. He says I hope I'm not too sweaty (he is, oh, I wish I had some Febreze). He tells John exactly where to go and explains how he's waiting for disability, and needs $8.00 for the hostel. We drop him off empty handed at the bus stop.

Am I a bad person that it scared me? I kept thinking that blind man was a stranger. He could have been crazy? or a drug addict? or have a knife? or a gun? and John let him into our car. I asked John how he decided to help him. He said he could tell he was blind. Did you notice though that he knew exactly where he was based on the directions he gave us in the car? So was it a scam for money? I don't know, but we didn't get hurt, and maybe he didn't have to walk as far.



You never really know whether you are helping someone out or not do you? Even though I wouldn't have done it, I'm glad to know my husband is kind hearted enough to try and help a blind man.

the orchid

Today I bought this new orchid. I keep saying people are friendly here because it keeps being true. I asked the lady at the store about the plant, and she described how to take care of it. She helped me choose the best one.

Then I'm walking to my car and a different lady in the parking lot asked, "You aren't from here are you?" (Is it that obvious?) She said it was the license plates. She asks me about where I'm from, and what is Utah like. I told her it's pretty there and the heat is dry, but people are nice here. She said I know, and we said good-bye.

I just wish I knew where I was going. I am so lost here. It's not Utah I miss. I keep thinking of my favorite Pink Floyd song "Wish You Were Here." I just wish everyone I cared about was here, but in some kind of weird way you sort of are.

Can you see the orchid has lots of blooms on it? The cashier even noticed and mentioned that the flowers will last a long time.

At Emo's

We did not see fireworks on the 4th cause we went to Emo's in Austin, instead. Plus, I've seen fireworks before, we moved to see something new, ya know? So first band was Austin's Consider the Source as seen above. Then El Bronx, we wanted to see The Bronx, but apparently El Bronx is their alter-ego or something that we didn't know existed. They dress up in mariachi and actually do a set of that style of music, um, I Want to Rock! (who knows that reference?)
They claimed to have a new cd of that stuff they were promoting, but we're like, huh? We did not come to see mariachi, but some people were drunk enough that they didn't care and were dancing anyway.

Then came the band, my favorite of the night. Another Austin band, called The Urgencies. And rock they did, so happy that a chick is playing bass. I was in the front row trying to watch the guitarist fingers as he played like a rock star!

Finally The Bronx came on after 1 AM. I can't remember how late, all I know is I got tired. There were sweaty, stinky, men moshing in my face and I was already, as J called me his "bruised peach" from the idiot singer Story of The Year at Warped the day before. He made us all run in direction of the Paramore stage, and guess who got bruised? No, I did not go see Paramore. Does Metallica? (was it late 80's or early 90's ring a bell?) In Delta Center they had to stop GA and make everyone have seats. Cause people died from being trampled. I thought the concert world would stop without GA, cause I liked fighting my way to the front row. Yeah, I was kinda dumb, when I was younger. So we left before The Bronx set was over. Still went to bed after 3 AM. The whole Austin club scene felt empty to me. Like all people cared about was getting loaded and hitting on each other. All my friends had to drag me to clubs when we were teens, and now I remember why. All I wanted was to dance and hear music, so nope haven't changed much.