Sunday, November 23, 2008

nada surf concert

Ever had a bad date and you just want to head home? That’s what I felt Friday night. I said if this was our
 first date, there would not have been a second. We get to the bar at 7:40 thought the band started at 7. No they don’t open til 9. We drive around. He says he’s
 hungry. We see packed coffee shop with band playing. That’ll be a cool place to go. Get inside caramel coffee, banana bread, triple chocolate cookie and bad,background sounding elevator music.

Let’s go get some real food. We drive around some more. There's a packed Mexican restaurant. We park at back entrance (since there’s no room in the front). He says this is what he was looking for. When we sit down, no one sees us. We wait. He finally tells someone. Waters, chips and salsa later. Menus are open he tells me he’s not hungry. Are you kidding me? We could have stayed at the coffee shop!   
He orders spinach enchiladas which were frozen spinach stuffed in a tortilla with no cheese or enchilada sauce inside. A couple bites later he’s sick to his stomach. I’m left at the table. I don’t need to tell you where he ends up. I pay the tab. He grabs the doggie box. We see a dumpster marked grease where he leaves the nasty food. I’ve never seen a whole dumpster marked grease!  
We go to the bar where we wait outside in a super long line on the freezing coldest night in Texas for nearly an hour. Upon entering the music is playing and the night starts to turn better. 
All the bands were great. I’ve been to a lot of concerts in my life. This was one of the best.

I worked my way to the front. A girl had been screaming for a song and when they finally played it. I let her in the front row. She’s a huge fan, she’s seen them 10 times! The guy next to me tells her she
changed the lead singer 's energy cause the lead singer’s playing for her. Every song she requested he played. And no, she wasn’t some hot, skinny, young thing either. Just a regular 28 yr old woman who loved their music. She told me he doesn’t know it yet, but he’s going to marry me.
(I thought to myself no, but ya might get to kiss him).  
When they played my favorite song, 2nd to last, I  got back up in front. On the very last song she and others joined the band on stage. I could’ve too, but I wanted to watch them enjoy it. When the show ended I asked her “Did ya meet him?” She said, “I kissed him!” (I knew it).
The bar was kicking people out of the bar, and the band manager was yelling that it was the bar’s fault for having a messed up PA system. We didn’t get home until 3 AM. 


Colder Outside

Last weekend we turned on the fireplace. Been complaining that my many coats haven’t been worn.

Friday I pulled out my lightest one.  The colorful leaves are hanging for dear life. Got into my box of scarves today.  Don’t like the cold, cloudy days. Send some sunshine our way.


I’m trying to make my whole world a rainbow. Here’s the latest 
snapshots of our living and bedroom. Be gentle, it’s a work in progress. Just like we all are.

Friday, November 14, 2008


We were pushing children in swings
There were lots of people there 
Friends and family
Watching and waiting
Staying there was comfortable and easy
They were pulling me to stay
I knew I had to leave
I knew they had to pump their own swings
Or jump out.
I knew I couldn’t stay and push them 
As I was watching 
I knew what I had to do

I knew what I needed to do
I had a difficult time 
I couldn’t vocalize it
They’d be sad and disappointed
I was slowly leaving 

I was thinking
I might have to
Without saying good-bye
I knew I had to go off
And be on my own
By myself
I had to pump my own swing
And jump off.


She’s wearing stone necklaces, silver bracelets, and eyeglasses. Her hair is grey streaked and long, as she rings up my stack of music biographies. She asks me if I need a bag, and I say No, don’t waste it. She said Appreciate your business. I 
I said I appreciate your tattoos, and she laughed.
I meant it. Her arms were covered in colorful tattoos. Her body was her canvas.

As I’m walking out the door saw a woman in front of me wearing a pink race for the cure t-shirt. I wanted to say, I walked in May. I have one in white.
 But I didn’t. The pink means she’s a

There are two women in one of my classes now.

 One has survived for years.

The other is surviving and battling her hair barely growing back as she goes through radiation now.

Another woman in one of my old classes was just beginning her battle. 

My two close family members are survivors.

There are survivors everywhere.

Clay Forming

She said

You need to decide in this weather,
with this clay.

 Are you going  to control the clay?

Force it into a shape that you see in your mind?

Cause you can do that.

You  are in control of the clay.

 Or are you going to go with the clay and let it form
the way it wants to form.

What are you going to choose? 

I take what’s in my hands I smash it into a ball, and I start over. 
And  she says Sometimes it’s okay to learn the lessons from something, to know you’ve overworked the clay, and start over. 
I  realize I have this problem (of overworking the clay).   
  I envision this object in my mind, and I am going to create it.
 I don’ t finish it because I need to give the clay time to harden.  Then I decide to go with the flow of another piece.  I let it be what it’s going to be until I finish it later.
See? I tell her. I did both. I controlled the clay in one piece
and I let it be in the other.

Then I try something new. I start to form a sculpture.  They tell me it’s coming along good. But sometimes people speak to just hear themselves talk. 
At the end of class, she helps me put something in the middle to hold it together and then she helps me wrap it up so I can work on it next time.  
I say It won’t stay like this. I’ll change it.  
Next week I might even start over, again.

 She smiles and shakes her head already knowing. 

Opening Up

I said You know why I’m doing this right?
He said No. Tell me why.
I tell him about last year. I tell him what I want to do.
He says, Do you know what I do for the community? 
I open my studio every Sunday to let the kids do art for free. 
How old are they?
Jr. High through high school. I do this to keep these kids off the streets to give them something to do. Because, well… I was one of those kids.

And his girlfriend is a school nurse.

Battling and Brushing

She asked Who sang this song because she loved it,
 and I told her. Then she said, Girl you know your music.
I said I just wish I could play it as well as I know it.
I’m learning and trying, but it’s slow going. 

Then someone else asked if I took music lessons too. Yes I said.
(I knew her husband was battling. He’d been battling for years. He’d battled so much that every time they’d manage one thing he’d get something different.  I knew he was going in for another surgery tomorrow. I know he has brushed several times). 

Then I walked up to her and whispered,
When you come so close. When  you brush with it more than once, you try to fill it up, Ya know?

She said, Yeah, I do. I do know.

She’s Mistaken

In  class she said You always know where everything is here.
(Cause I'd shown her where the newspaper and plastic bags were). 

I said, “No, I don’t know where anything is, here, in Texas, I’m lost all the time. I never know which direction I’m going.”

Your Own Point of View

He’s telling me about this other artist. How this guy will rip apart their art work, but everything he says is correct. I say I’m glad he isn’t my art teacher because that’s not how I thrive. 
He says this guy intensely studied. (Was it in Europe?)

He knows the name of every bone and muscle in the body. He’s envious wishing he knew all of that information. 
I said, But maybe you don’t need to know all that for your art work. Maybe the knowledge you have is enough, for your art work. You have your own point of view and aesthetic that‘s different than his. 

He says You’re right I do. 

Wood Carving

In class, we were carving into our blocks of wood. She said it’s part of the process. Figuring out how you want your image to look. What type of pattern will you make? What positive and negative shapes do you want to emphasize?

 What will you leave and cut away? What type of tool will you use? Think about the pressure on the tool, on the wood, in your hand. How much pressure will you use?  

 She said, Don’t rush through the process to get to your image, enjoy the rhythm and flow of the carving. 


We were talking about orchids. She was telling me how she thought she killed her orchid, but she planted it outside under her window and came back to life, twice. She said you have to find the place that the plant wants to grow. Then it will bloom in that sunlight.  

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Sacred Heart

At one of the art booths in Austin City Limits. I discovered this one.
This is what he has on his business card.

“The sacred heart  is a collection of iconic figures who have shifted the planet with their heart energy”
“What are you doing with your sacred heart?”

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Dell Rocks Art Tent

We're at Austin City Limits and
I see this graffiti covered tent so of course I have to go inside.

There's a dj with music blarin'. People are checkin out computer games and dancin.'

All of the art is by artist Mike Ming, and it's everywhere. People are standin in line gettin their hair braided. All the art you can create there is free. Make your own
 buttons or design your own screen print on a
t shirt using his art. 

As we're diggin through pile of screen print options this girl is talkin bout New Orleans where she lives.

I ask her how is New Orleans? She said It's good. We loved it when we were there. We didn't want to leave.

Last time we were there was maybe 10 years ago. She says The last time I was there was like yesterday.
I asked her what's it like at halloween there?
She said, It's crazy!

My favorite t shirt example and cool fashion screen print girl.

Did you make it? I asked about her skirt which I totally LOVE. No, I got it at the thrift store. (my fav place to shop, but haven't found any where I live).

Near The Vein

I asked about his tatoo. Did it hurt?

“No, not really. I… Well…, Okay right here…
and he points near the vein)

That kind of hurt…, Yeah.”

This Bird

What are you doing?
I’m looking at this bird.
It’s out on a limb.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Texas Rose Garden

Last Saturday we went to the Rose garden in Fort Worth. He thought we could ride our bikes. We were told we had to walk them inside the path.
It sure took the fun out of it.
When I got told what to do.

No one wants a bicycle to become an added weight that they have to push along.

We want to ride.

We want to feel the wind in our face and our hair.

But I have to wear a helmet on my head, and that covers my hair.

Does anybody else wish they didn’t have to wear a stupid helmet?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Monarch Butterflies

She was afraid we wouldn't let them go.

That we'd make them stay.
I said I’d never do that. I want someone to be able to fly away.

Especially if that's what they want. Or need.
They should be able to fly away.

I’d never clip their wings,

That’s not who I am.

I’d rather help them grow.
I’d rather help them build wings.
Then we talk about all the monarch butterflies we see here.


What is it?
It’s a necklace someone lost.
Do you think they’ll come to look for it?
I don’t know.
What does it mean?
I think it means time.
Time huh?
I think I’ll add that to my jewelry box.